What?

I feel like no one actually wants to talk to me. If I start a conversation, I feel like I'm annoying whomever I'm talking to. And with Logan, it is like he calls just because it is routine and it would feel weird if he didn't talk to me. He is so sad that I'm not around. It makes me feel like shit. I don't know what to do about. It is not like I want to be away from everyone while I'm here. I miss Redford, especially because I know my time there is limited. I need to get a car and apartment that is permanent and a "real" (ugh I hate saying that) job that would allow me to pay for all of that. And go to school and not get more than one B a semester. Piece of cake.
Not.
I don't even know where to start. I just know that I don't want to move out of Redford and if I have to, I'd like the freedom of going back whenever I would like.
I just wish I could make everyone I love happier. I can't. I don't have the things they want and I can't give those things to them. I really wonder if I should buy that guitar. It is kind of a large purchase...